Looking back at New Year's, I know I've been a little spotty in my posting. I could pass it off on the fact that I spend all day on a computer and just don't want to be on one when I get home. Or I could say that we are constantly on the go, but it's actually calmed down a bit.
The truth is because I have a wall up when it comes to posting anything real. I can take a picture that captures that one moment in a random day and find a witty caption, but that's not a real idea of what's going on. And what's going on right now is nothing short of depression inducing.
Texas got word early this year that the budget deficit was miscalculated and education would be taking a harder hit than expected. My worst case scenario suddenly became a best case scenario. Know one knows exactly what will happen, but as neighboring districts begin to issue statements and make cuts, it's clear that something will. This year I stepped out of the classroom and into the role of Instructional Technology Specialist. Besides being on-campus tech support, I help teachers incorporate technology into their lessons and ensure that students gain the necessary skills to compete in a 21st century job market. Sadly, my department/position is on the chopping block. Not to reduce, but to eliminate. And it's all out of my hands. I'm not a patient person, so this has created more than the usual amount of stress. Adding to that is the fact that my husband teaches in a neighbor district (he's with fine arts) and they've been very tight lipped with their plans.
When I started teaching it never crossed my mind that there would come a time when teachers wouldn't be hired and would even be reduced in numbers. But here we stand at the threshold of that moment and I can't fathom what direction this will lead us. I'm not gonna lie, it's completely unnerving to not have any control over whether or not you'll have a job after May. I've written the letters, I've e-mailed, I've attended community meetings. But it looks like all I can really do is wait. And I suck at waiting. Waiting means I've eaten way more girl scout cookies than is humanly possible and in turn feel even worse.
So that's it. that's where I am right now. A perpetual state of job limbo. I'll try to snap out of it to post birthday pictures, a recap of Music Man's back issue and the best Oreo cookie recipe I've ever eaten. I just need a little time.